Online dating scams: The true cost of romance fraud

A British study* suggesting that possibly as many as 200,000 people in the UK may have found themselves victims of online dating scams has made headline news this September. 

Undertaken by the Universities of Leicester and Westminster, working with the Serious Organised Crime Agency (Soca), the research revealed that 2% of the 2,028 people surveyed knew of someone who had been a victim of an internet dating scam. According to Soca individual losses have ranged from £50 to as much as £240,000.

However these figures may be the tip of the iceberg; victims who feel betrayed and ashamed that they have been duped by fraudsters may never go on report their losses and experiences to the authorities out of sheer embarrassment. 

Understandably, the psychological impact on victims, many of whom may be extremely vulnerable, can be devastating. Not only have they lost money, maybe even an inheritance, they have lost the ‘person’ in whom they have invested their trust, love and hopes for the future. 

People may also be used as ‘money mules’ by con artists based overseas who channel the proceeds of crime in and out of their unwitting victims’ accounts. As one UK victim explained, the lover whom she believed was a US soldier serving in Iraq was probably, “Some bloke sitting in a little shack somewhere typing away on a computer”. She hoped others would learn from her traumatic experience; “It’s like your heart’s been ripped out and trampled all over.”

Seasoned and novice users of internet dating sites and social networks should be aware of the tactics currently being used by scammers with fake identities promising love and romance but actually playing the long game to dupe their victims. These are some tell-tale signs that should ring alarm bells:

 

• A person has drop dead gorgeous ‘model’ looks  
• They work in an out of the way location eg a soldier, contractor, international businessman 
• They are curious about their online partner but don’t give anything away about themselves, including where they live and work
• They suddenly become intimate and use terms such as ‘darling’ 
• They want to move the ‘relationship’ away from monitored online space 
• They start asking for money to be sent because they are in difficulties, a relative is ill, they need to make an important purchase or even fund a trip to visit their partner.

 

Especially disturbing is that fraudsters have been known to groom their online dates, persuading them to send sexually explicit pictures then later blackmailing them by threatening to send copies to the victims’ friends and family unless they send money. 

Action Fraud, the UK’s national fraud reporting and advice centre run by the National Fraud Authority offers the following advice to people using social networking and internet dating sites: 

 

• Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, it probably is
• Guard your privacy
• Never send money or give credit card or online account details to anyone (also to prevent money laundering)
• Communicate with people locally and not from overseas; someone may claim they are in the same country but they could be anywhere
• People should never reply to communications from people they’ve met on a dating site or chat room who insists on communicating through email.

 

To report incidences of romance fraud go to http://www.actionfraud.org.uk/report_fraud

 

*The online survey was carried out by Professor Monica Whitty psychologist and Professor of Contemporary Media at the University of Leicester and Dr Tom Buchanan, a psychologist at the University of Westminster.

Fieldwork was undertaken between 6- 8 July 2011.  Figures are weighted and are representative of all GB adults (aged 18+).  Number of people scammed was devised by the following formula: 47,754,569, (British adults – source, Office of National Statistics)*.0065 (percentage of sample who were scammed) *.74 (British adults online).

Why your online dating name matters

We don’t get to choose our birth names but in the brave new world of internet dating the onus is firmly on the individual to create their unique user name or alias and register it with the online dating site. The pressure is on to invent their own special moniker – the key that will prompt site visitors to open up their profile; the name that marks them out from the rest and shouts, ‘Click me!’. 

However choosing an appropriate name is not quite as simple as it sounds. An online dating name serves as a screen, protecting your real identity and projecting – much like a shop window – who you are and how you want to be perceived.  The successful internet dating name will act as a magnet to attract the types of individual you want to contact you. For example, a single lady seeking love and romance might suggest as much with the name PurrfectlyCute.  But select an inappropriate, misleading or dull name and someone runs the risk of projecting a negative persona that could actually put people off clicking on their profile.

So what makes a suitable or even a great online dating name? 

First, it needs to be short, memorable and unique and ideally should say something special about you. Enjoy working out? Then maybe a name like SixPackSam sums you up in a nutshell. 

Second, a name should have positive connotations and present you in the best light as fun-loving, outgoing and attractive eg ZumbaGal immediately suggests ‘young, social female into fitness’. 

Third, a name must stand out for all the right reasons and not misrepresent its owner. 

Flirtatious and pleasantly suggestive names are commonplace though they say little else except that the name owner is available and looking for a relationship (which is obviously why they registered in the first place) and waste the opportunity to say something constructive and unique. 

Of course if someone is interested in love and romance, a long term relationship and total commitment, names such as AndSoToBed or MissWhiplash send out totally contradictory messages (though the ‘hits will just keep on coming’). Likewise WallFlower and EverABridesmaid fail miserably as online dating names (hardly gregarious, successful, fun-loving types), and PublicEnemy1 is only likely to attract the attention of the FBI or MI5 (that’s if it gets through the site’s filters).

It’s fine to be humourous, creative and have fun with online dating names as the inference is that you too are funny and creative which are generally perceived to be positive traits. Equally, a dull, boring and unimaginative name suggests that little thought has gone into creating that screen persona or worse, that the person behind the name may not have much a personality. 

Remember that a site may stipulate a certain number of letter characters for a name (eg 12 to 15) so bear this in mind. Also try to avoid using numbers unless they help you read the name as in Fun2CuddleUp2. Also break up names into upper and lower case as this makes them easier to read and remember. 

Still struggling to find an original name? Then spend time researching forums. What’s trending? What works? What attracts you?

One last thing… When you’ve decided on a name as with all personal information, keep your alias to yourself.

Can you afford not to join an online dating site?

Ask a couple getting married, ‘How did you two meet?’, and the odds are that that either social networking or an internet dating site played a part in bringing them together and sustaining their relationship.

For youngsters who have grown up using websites such as Bebo, My Space, Friends Reunited and Facebook, making contact over the internet is second nature. It’s quick, cheap and with a notebook pc or laptop (with webcam switched off), no-one actually has to even get out of bed to surf, browse and chat. 

However for those of us who don’t have a contact list a mile long,  who are single professional men and ladies leading busy lives who don’t want to spend time aimlessly socialising, internet dating sites are the modern way to meet new people and form relationships.  

In the UK several high profile dating .coms have launched above-the-line, peak time TV advertising campaigns to drive membership and the message that finding love through online dating is a mainstream activity open to all. 

Nowadays there’s no stigma attached to joining a dating site.  In fact coming out as someone who uses a dating site will probably earn a pat on the back, demonstrating that a person is serious and pro-active about relationships and dating. 

In the past sceptics have questioned whether those who signed up for online dating were either useless at relationships or plain desperate. Today the arguments for socialising online make sense; people the world over are enjoying the simplicity, convenience and cost-effectiveness of internet dating and may even have found their Mr or Ms Right online. 

A plethora of dating sites exists. Some encourage everyone to join while other niche sites are geared to specific tastes and expectations. However, exactly how much time and money someone wants to invest in the dating process is most likely to determine the type of site they join. If someone doesn’t want to enter into a contract, is prepared to tolerate irritating advertisements and can beat a trail through hundreds of profiles (including the inevitable dodgy scammers), then a free online dating service may be the place to start. 

Conversely, some higher profile dating .coms charge, claiming that their superior ‘match finding’ technology will generate better quality matches as people are more likely to be compatible if they share the same likes and dislikes. Charging may also screen out those who aren’t genuinely interested, enhance the quality of their membership and thus create a more secure dating environment. 

Of course people will continue to meet their soul mates in traditional environments such as the pub, office or at a party, or by chance. However, online dating enables people to broaden their social horizons and ‘get themselves out there’ (that’s a highly effective ‘Plan B’!).

With millions now signed up as members of dating .coms in the UK the question now is can single men and ladies afford not to join an online dating site or at the very least dip their toes into online dating?   

Online dating makes love a level playing field

One enchanted evening, you may see a stranger across a crowded room; but if you’ve not quite got the bottle to do anything about it then the opportunity could evaporate in front of your eyes. 

Although this is a familiar scenario the world over, online dating is now empowering single men and ladies to make that first, tentative move towards romance. In fact the internet dating experience offers users a virtual safety blanket, enabling the less adventurous, the shy and the more introverted to socialise on an even footing with those who may  naturally be more confident and extrovert in real-life situations. For when it comes to making contact, internet dating has certainly levelled the playing field and it’s proving a great liberator; behind the keyboard each and every one of us has the opportunity to show our best side.

Indeed making that first move has never been easier. Dose up with a large shot of Dutch courage, select the e-device of choice – pc, laptop, notebook or i-phone, register and create a profile (preferably an honest and recognisable one) then make that first contact and see if it elicits a positive response. And if it looks like things aren’t going anywhere, simply say your goodbyes and move on. 

However the success of the internet dating experience may well depend upon the actual dating site itself.  Seasoned users may choose to cast their nets as widely as possible, and register with several online dating sites. The fact that a number of online dating sites offer free registration and no charges to browse members’ profiles, has really opened up the market. Even the most sceptical person who thinks that they would never resort to searching for love and romance online might now be tempted to register with an online dating site knowing that they can unsubscribe without penalty as it’s not going to cost a bean. 

A website’s  specific ‘catchment’ also needs to be considered. Some niche sites are quite specialised – founded on the premise that likeminded, or culturally sympathetic types are looking for those who share the same fundamental values or live in the same country. This makes browsing really easy. However other ‘international’ sites offer the opportunity – and the challenge – of making contact with people across the world.

Equally, established sites with large membership bases may be using sophisticated methods to bring people together using complex algorithms to screen out unlikely contenders and will only send  out ‘matches’ that offer the best chance of compatibility (less likely to be a polar opposite). 

A final word of caution.  Internet dating sites may give us the front to make contact with complete strangers and provide a useful springboard for relationship building, but care should always be taken if making contact in person with someone you’ve met online. Internet dating companies urge all users to be safety conscious, keep personal information private and if arranging a real date, to take basic security precautions*.  Online dating companies do not take responsibility for bad one-to-one experiences.  

Why online dating companies WLTM even more professional singletons

Internet dating is now a socially acceptable means to meeting a partner. Time-poor singletons spending hours glued to their pc’s at work are now making the web work for them in their free time, by joining dating websites that bring them into contact with new faces, friends and potential partners.

With numerous sites offering free membership (no monthly subscriptions or charges to view matches), joining the online dating community has never been easier. Indeed, statistics suggest that 52% of men and 48% of women have already used the internet to find a date (Source: ABIA/Google*).  But what about the 59% of single men and 46% of single ladies who say they intend to use the internet to meet someone? These are the people that dating agencies would particularly ‘like to meet’ – to boost site membership and maximize the number of ‘matches’.

 

The number of online dating websites has grown exponentially in recent years to include myriad niche websites to complement more general, established sites – leaving no stone unturned. The arguments are that niche sites allow visitors to home in on particular defining factors – something that they and any future partner must have in common – and may yield matches in a shorter time frame. 

 

Hence the growth in sites with a unique selling proposition; a vital common denominator for members ie the over 40s, over 50s, single parents, sugar daddies, ‘cougars’ seeking younger male partners and sites that match people with the same religious outlook. The possibilities are indeed endless.

 

In the 21^st century dating sites and in current recessionary times, dating sites must market themselves to remain successful, attract fresh interest and continue to replenish and grow their membership. Hence the equally strong arguments for using general, particularly free online dating services because they offer wider ‘coverage’ and a considerably larger membership base.

 

However, internet dating is no quick and simple fix – an automatic, guaranteed means to a social network or to meeting Mr or Ms Right. Experiences and success with online dating sites will differ from person to person. Yet there are a few rules of thumb to help a novice get off to a running start.

 

♥  Post an honest profile – but don’t give too much away. (Never reveal personal facts eg home address or financial information). Surprisingly, it’s often less specific profiles (generating ‘an air of mystery’) that invite the greater number of responses.

 

♥  Retain a healthy scepticism. If someone sounds too good to be true then they may not live up to their own hype – and may not be all they seem.

 

♥  Use the ‘chat’ facility which allows members to get to know each other informally before meeting. (NB: Personal security should always be a consideration on every date.)

 

♥ Try several of the free online dating services.  Such sites are likely to be funded from advertising and won’t be charging for extra services that aren’t wanted or needed, and where it costs nothing to ‘unsubscribe’.

 

Finally, members shouldn’t expect perfect matches promising love and romance to come flooding in overnight. However ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’ and at least free online dating makes it feasible to stick with the same sites for several months – and have fun. 

A Wonderful New Free Online Dating UK Based Website

The most natural thing in the world, for any species, is the instinct to find a partner. We all feel we need to play, work, learn and even eat and drink, but to continue the species, we need to reproduce. Many humans, and even some members of the animal kingdom, just want love or sex with no offspring, and even same-sex relationships. Whatever they want, it’s in their make-up and we can’t take that feeling away. For animals, things are so much simpler; find a mate, do the deed and hope there isn’t too much violence. For us humans, though, things are becoming more and more difficult. Society allows couples to split up, forces parents to work away from home, and encourages casual relationships. Busy and shy people can have great difficulty finding a partner with similar interests or goals.

For decades, there have been dating agencies, but these people are in business and care more about money than the success of their customers. In fact, if everyone is successful, they’d get no repeat business, so they probably hope for a certain amount of failure. The big problem with this kind of matchmaking service is the intentions of the matchmakers themselves. Luckily there is a new and free online dating UK website that asks for nothing at all from its members. How does it make money? Like most websites, it relies on its popularity which attracts advertising revenues.

How does it work? Simply join, enjoy all the benefits of free lifetime membership and no maximum or minimum limits to how many potential partners you search for or connect with. It’s just like one big free and fun dating group and probably one of the best dating sites UK people have had access to since the inception of online dating.

Now, there are many people out there, and in the UK, who do not want another relationship with someone from home. No problem, this free online dating UK website has international members, too. Just being based in the UK does not mean it is restricted to there. In fact, it is becoming so popular, that there are even mini-groups appearing with sub-communities of likeminded people in particular parts of the world.

In the past for online dating UK residents have had to join expensive and impersonal dating agencies. Even walking in the door one feels inadequate, and walking out, into the street, feels dirty. But now, with the advent of these dating sites UK people, and those around the world are not only more confident to join without pressure or judgment, they can even do so for free with this free online dating UK based website.
It really is a breath of fresh air. People have better and more access to potential partners, twenty-four hours a day, seven-days a week and can do so for free, for life! You don’t even have to have the courage (or cash) to approach the lady (or man) and offer to buy her (or him) a drink!

Online Dating Sites Explained

Online dating sites enable time-pressured, busy professional singles to find friendship, love and romance whether using their home computers, notepads or internet phones. This new ‘anytime, anyplace, anywhere’ way of connecting with people and potential partners is the modern take on old-fashioned courtship, enabling single men and ladies to widen their social network, chat and develop their relationships.

Dating sites work by inviting people to sign up, create a personal profile and describe the type of person and relationship they in turn are looking for. ‘Niche’ sites are designed to attract people from the same backgrounds sharing the same ideals and expectations and cater for a particular clientele (eg the ‘over 50s’). More general sites are less targeted, boast a broader membership base and therefore attract a high level of traffic but potentially fewer specific matches. If a profile looks familiar it may well be a case of ‘déjà vu’; now that free online dating is widely available, people are likely to sign up to multiple sites.

Online dating sites range from those that don’t charge at all to those that charge to join, pay a monthly charge and even possibly, per introduction. Clearly terms and conditions need to be carefully scrutinized before signing up to avoid unexpected charges.

Not surprisingly free online dating sites uk are growing in number and popularity. One unique selling point is possibly that they are not making any mileage out of ‘disappointing’ introductions or experiences as they get their revenue from onsite advertising.

While online dating sites enable people to connect with those they are most likely to appeal to, there is still the excitement and fun of making that special contact which can be taken to the next level. Some more sophisticated sites even allow you to go on a ‘virtual date’ and interact with a companion to ‘test the water’ before arranging to meet.

People using dating websites uk are encouraged to be as honest as possible when creating their profiles, have realistic expectations, and keep their wits about them and exercise caution. Unfortunately online sites aren’t foolproof and do not claim to be able to filter out all the bad pennies. Dating sites are obviously keen to present their success stories, but there are downsides to the online dating scene, most notably the potential to be misled (for example someone claiming to be unattached who is actually ‘married’) or to have one’s personal security compromised.

Users should never disclose personal and financial information – one reason why they must take care when creating their ‘unique’ user or ‘screen’ name to use in chat rooms and emails. Online sites have the potential to be exploited by internet fraudsters – scammers, stalkers and sexual offenders – who have submitted false IDs and whose intention is to do harm. Some sites offer the facility to run background checks to screen out such undesirables but will still advise members to remain cautious and careful when meeting up.

Without doubt dating websites are being embraced by all generations today and there is certainly no stigma attached to having originally ‘met over the web’ rather than by more traditional means. In fact as a way of contacting other professional single men and ladies, widening your social network and ultimately finding love and romance, online dating is proving a highly effective and attractive proposition.